Sunday, June 7, 2009
So many words to say, yet i dont really feel like saying it...
First off... You people really dont understand me. I'm not trying to show off, but face it. I dont have the mind of a teenager. No matter how much i explain it, you people would just, kind of give me advice. But have you actually thought, what went through my mind when you say those words, when i keep quiet..? Think about it. I'm not the kind of teenager who never think about reality. Have you ever thought that i, had actually did those before. I dont want to explain this to every single person who tries giving me advice. Please. I did what i can do. My flaws, i changed. All of you told me that i gave that annoying look. Yes, i changed that. The boys used to hate me alot. Yes, i changed too. You told me i only seeked sweekheng only when i needed her. Okay, i steered clear. I learnt from my mistakes. I thought before i did. I saw what you people didnt like. I got over what normal people wouldnt. Find this amusing, hilarious or lame then i'd say you're really naive. Dont tell me okay..? Dont ask me what my problem is. Some people say i should keep it to myself. Yet some people told me to tell them. Here it is. All the while, i laughed when im actually sad, held anger inside. I know people are worse. The reason why i wrote this is not to insult. I never meant it that way. But please, i've did whats there to do. I've held this for so long. I kept my feelings because i didnt want to make my problem all of yours. Its only my problem, im not saying that you people (some) are busybody, but actually that you would never know the feeling of being there. Counsellor..? No. You just study children and teenagers. You feel the outside hurt. Thats all. But you're not there to feel that every second in that place. I know you can put yourself in our shoes, but its just not the same. Being there itself lets you experience the hardest of the moments. Being so alone when nobody understands. Nobody understands anybody. True. Simply true. But i still feel some people say it for the wrong reasons. They just say it due to minor reasons. Not saying mine is major. Yet again. Look at yourself before you give advice. Have you actually gone through what i gone through..? When you say your life is unfair, do you actually open your eyes to see that there are many who feel the same way..? And what about those that never complained a single word about their hard life. They're humble, hence its hard to attain advice. You get advice from yourself. From your own experience okay..? Dont tell me to tell you. You hear my story, and all you can is say oh. Because you think your own story is much worse isnt it..? Sad to say, i do not exist to compare. You accept yourself before telling others what to do. I've seen people being selfish. Hurting others to save themselves. And so i dont do that. Can you see..? What is genuine and what is not can be seen. You people are teenagers, you dont see. But teachers do. I dont know how they do it, but they manage to see whether you are truely frustrated or stressed inside and giving fake smiles or not. I'm not trying to say that my life is the most complicated one. They are far worse. So please, for many people, stop saying this "my life is worse than yours ............. " I'm not interested okay..? You think about others before saying something. Ever thought that it would hurt someone when actually, their life is much worse..? If you claim to pity yourself and yet again tell your story, then it would hurt those who are in poorer positions. You claim that you pity yourself, in a better life, hence pitying them as well. Look at justice. Look at the world. Does it actually still exist anymore..? Just selfishness and greed. Say that you can do nothing, but if you actually stop being so selfcentered, then you can look at the world in a very different way. I dont even know why i had a C for civics and moral education. Also known as being able to spot what is right and what is wrong. Do i not know what is wrong and what is not..? Do i not understand justice, rights equality, moral reciprocity, and reconstructed my knowledge of the world. Look, not everyone is ordinary. Its ridiculous when some people randomly say they are hiding behind a smile. That
ONLY applies to incidents when someone is told of your story (from someone else) and gets a really big shock about what you actually face. Now, THAT is hiding. When you can actually deceive without a fault. Once again,
THIS POST IS NOT MEAN TO BE RUDE.
LOVE&JOY
«4:27 PM»
Y
